"Wonders of America" – About Patience and Hectic

"Wonders of America" or short "WoA"“ is a new column, which is not really about "wonders", but about particularities in America, especially in comparison to Germany. We will take the liberty of discussing different topics of American everyday life, mentality, lifestyle, society etc. which we found interesting during our travels. Don’t want to judge, condemn or puff something up, just want to state observations and experiences and encourage contradiction or confirmation or discussion. Would love to hear about your own experiences and get your opinion.

Originally, I planned to write about washing machines . You may wonder: Why washing machines? Reason is that I was wondering at our friends’ places while washing our laundry about a couple of things: 1. Why are top loading washers in America much more common and 2. Why are they much faster than our washers? Just needed about 45 minutes for one (big) load in warm (30 deg. C) washing cycle (at home about 75 min. average). Most Germans use front-loaders, though we have a top-loader at home because it’s smaller. Ours is constructed differently from American machines: with a horizontal axis rotating drum whereas americans do have a vertical-axis and a water-pumping agitator in the center of the bottom of the basket. Is that the reason for washing quicker?

As much as I would love to know more about the secrets of American washing machines, I am even more interested in the reasons for a more "social" phenomenon: patience and hectic. Imagine standing in line at the cashier of a german supermarket. Boy, you have to be fast to remove your grocery items after they are scanned, otherwise you will be buried underneath, no mercy. Speed is most important at the belt and the cashier (possibly being paid by revenue) is getting impatient if you aren’t fast enough to remove your items from the small piece of storage area you are having. So better don’t dare to go alone, you’ll need four hands at least. Throw everything back in your cart quickly, just take care of eggs and soft fruit, if you can. Don’t dare to look for change when paying your tab for too long, throw them a bill or a card and go, go, go. Otherwise, you won’t make people happy.

In America … completely different piece of cake. The cashier (or a helper) packs all your groceries conveniently and systematially in bags. By the way, "paper or plastic?" the former question, is not common anymore, difference nowadays is mostly between regular and organic supermarkets. You are welcome to take your time to stand in line, to pay and/or to discuss a produce’s quality or price, the weather or sports results. If you are immobile in some way or old or helpless, there are additional people on call in supermarkets who will roll out the cart to your car and help you put it in the trunk.

Change of scenery: In an American restaurant. You have a reservation in some good, but not top-notch restaurant. You will be lead to your table by the manager, menus being handed over. You are not quite seated (and looking around in vain for some place to store your jacket or coat, at least Germans usually have this problem) and the waiter shows up and asks what you want to drink. You haven’t even had time yet to look at the menu, not to talk about the wine list with its 50+ choices and about 30 "hand crafted" cocktails (wondering how else cocktails can be made …). About three minutes go by, same question again about drinks, plus: a much too fast recited list of daily specials. If you are lucky, they give you another five minutes to decide about your meal. Asking you about the way of preparation, the kind of dressing, the sides or sauces takes takes comparatively long then. Americans are pretty picky and ask about each and every detail before they order. They tend to rearrange and substitute and change. Drinks will be served, appetizers as well. Plates will be removed as soon as a guest "appears" to have finished with it, no matter whether just taking a break or wanting to share with companions, and no matter whether the other guests at the table are still eating from their plates. In Germany it’s a rule to remove all empty plates at the same time, which, I think, is a good rule for a change.

No break for guests: entrées will be served immediately afterwards, followed by dessert. Three courses in 30 to 45 minutes – not a problem at all! If your glass is half empty - not taking tap water into consideration, which is fortunately refilled all the time and complimentary (listen, german restaurant owners!) – you’ll be immediately asked whether you want a second drink. Last forkful of food being eaten, plate will be removed, the classical (faux) leather case with the check will be discretely set in front of you. Tipps are another thing to talk about, but that’s a topic of its own. Now, for "well-traveled, seasoned" Americans this can be the right moment for revenge, meaning they ignore the leather case and don’t pay immediately. Waiter will check a couple of times, mostly from the distance, but can’t do much. The majority will pay and leave the table to make room for the next guests. Wondering how many guests an evening some restaurants can process. Sitting and chatting is not welcome, motto is: eat and go.

A restaurant in Germany. You choose your table yourself. Service is much too slow and often grumpy. It takes forever until you get a menu, can order, until you get served and get your check. Problem is, that there is much less service personal. Problem is, also, that the employees are not predominantly paid by tips as in America, but get fixed monthly wages (whether that's good or bad is another question). Sometimes even not all people at a table get their meals at the same time, later they possibly sit in front of an emptied plate forever – like on the plane – and have to holler to get the check or an additional drink. On the other hand, you can sit and chat and take your time. Objections?

Another example: Americans show immense patience when standing in line, e.g. waiting for a restaurant table. Thirty minutes to an hour without reservation (or even with one) is not an exception. No German (right?) would wait longer than ten minutes for a table, if even that. There are always other options.

Patience is also asked for in America when getting off a plane or train or bus. Since everybody is waiting for the one sitting in front of him/her (which is a good idea in general, because it is „practiced politeness“ and avoids being pushed around or overrun) it can be annoying, when the person in front of you needs to check the phone first, to send a facebook message or to repack the bag before thinking about getting up. Not noticing that people behind are piling up and that she/he causes a traffic jam.

Patience at auto rental offices, big deal. Employees usually do have all the time in the world, patiently explaining to customers for the umpteenth time the difference between a compact and a midsize car or what insurance to take, while another ten people, tired from a long flight and heaving around heavy luggage, wait more or less patiently to eventually sign the contract and get the booked car to drive to the hotel to get some sleep.

Not an example for patience, but in contrary, an example for harassment are american hotels. Especially in upper-category city hotels employees tend to remove your car as soon as you slam on the breaks in front of the entrance. They rupture the driver’s car door open ("Are you checking in?") and it’s almost impossible to get yourself oriented first and to collect more than your purse. They throw your luggage on a cart faster than you are able to find your reservation number and hand you a slip for the car - that’s it. You can’t even think about what you need in the room and what could be left in the car. Besides the tip you are supposed to give each time you request your car ("Please, call at least 15 min. in advance!") they charge up to $ 60 a night nowadays for parking in downtown hotels. Almost as much as a Motel 6 would cost in a rural area!

"Thank you for your patience" - is a common phrase, e.g. when trying to redeem a shopping voucher for a gift card or waiting in line forever. It may sound polite, but acutally sometimes it's hard to muster patience. Sometimes it’s just an excuse for people’s incompetence or ignorance or stupidity. But, it sounds much better than to admit not to be able or not to know how to do something. Patience is a big deal in America, but 1. it can get annoying and 2. it’s not applicable to all issues. But, there are always two sides of the same coin. In America and in Germany.